I think one issue with your friend's line of thought is that she's looking at those pre transition years as a luxury and privilege, when it's anything but for trans women.
I'm a black cis woman. I've faced a ton of misogyny since birth, sometimes in ways that a trans woman wouldn't before transitioning (as others have already pointed out, you can still experience misogyny before transitioning). But I'm not going to pretend that my pain and marginalisation was greater than that of trans women, and black trans women in particular. We all suffer under patriarchy, sometimes in different ways, sometimes in the same ways. Your friend lacks perspective.