ThreadI see no reason to have a hope for the future
I'm glad you'll be looking into seeking professional help. We have a mental health thread on the forum, and there's a discord for the mental health community too. I hope they can be of help as well if you're not already part of the discord.
I understand the despair you're feeling. Just know that you don't have to feel this way forever. You can get better, and you can find purpose and happiness. You're a lot stronger and more resilient than you think.