Dont you find it sad that you dont have the means to even heal on your own terms? You became too dependent on her (a sick woman who could have had a turn for the worst at any moment) and relied on her. What if she couldn't provide...what could you have done? You aren't sad/jealous because things have changed. You sound angry that your gravy train is now in dire jeopardy and you are going to be forced into an adult situation fast. You are forced to be an adult soon. None of this non-traditional bollocks excuse. You didnt grow as an individual, you became complacent doing the bare minimum of being a dad to slide through life as your wife took the brunt of everything hard like being a spouse parent AND provide (you could have done all that and still had an identity or job or means of production). Your posts here is looking for validation and pity. And I'm gonna tell you the hard truth .... Harden the fuck up. Harden the fuck up and stop thinking about how much you owe your wife and all the sacrifices she made. Your sacrifices aren't as deep as hers. And as much as you are cognizant of that fact and aware and grateful, that shit ain't gonna put a roof on your head. Right now your time is short because their patience is limited. All it takes is you taking a stinky dump In the toilet, a kid making a mess on the floor, or the TV being 1 decibel too loud before they start thinking there's too many people In the home. Talk to your mom about letting your work/stay with her for a bit. All this shit happening and you writing is your PRIDE talking. The wrong pride. Not the pride that let you let your wife fuck an old flame because you didnt have the merit or argument against it, but the one where you still think living it up as a live in butler is better than having your autonomy back. Harden the fuck up. I'm done.